Understanding Women’s Emotions
Understanding women’s emotions.
Women are very emotive, that’s just how we are created. My personal take on this is that we are designed this way so we are completely in tune with our children, so we are sensitive to their needs and wants. This goes right back to caveman days and is deeply inbreed in us, so it’s not something that we are going to just shake off in the next 100 years. If you like, it’s part of our design! So our emotions stay, I’m sorry!
Another way of thinking about it is like a German Autobahn, so there are 4-5 lanes of traffic on either side with cars racing up and down them. This sums up women’s emotions. If you can think of the number of cars and the speed which they are zipping up and down these highways, then these are the emotional impulses, that as women we are dealing with. It’s no wonder that there are going to be some overflow, traffic jams, accidents sometimes on this Autobahn! So you can see, keeping a lid on these emotions is really, really challenging. I’m not saying that we should be excused when we have ‘outbursts’, not at all, but this is what we are up against.
How do I best deal with these emotions as a man?
Firstly, outbursts of emotion is the end point. It’s the volcanic eruption if you like, it’s not the lava which has been oozing and has been backing up. If we were to look closer, then it all comes down to other frustrations, which usually have been layering themselves up over time. These are the real things that you need to dig down into and address but more about that later.
What do mature guys do to ease these emotions?
Well in the moment there are a couple of things that I think work wonderfully well for women. Just in that moment, you can use them.
- First just listen. We want to know that you are listening to us! So that means being quite at your end and listening and thinking about what we are saying. I’m not necessarily saying that you have to agree with what we are saying but just listening in this moment is incredibly important and also highly effective.
The rest have to do with touch and a bit of judgement after ‘listening’ to her.If done correctly & at the right time they are incredibly powerful and will diffuse the situation.
- Touch her lightly on the arm.
- Touch her lightly on the nap of her neck.
- After the above 2 and sensing her body language, just hug her.
If you are going to talk about the real things that are going on and getting down there to dig deep and address these ‘real’ issues, and I suggest that you do, then you can’t do this where there are all sorts of overflows, traffic jams and accidents on that Autobahn! Both of you need to be in that calm place to have this sort of conversation, and if you aren’t, then it isn’t going to work or you aren’t going to get the best outcome. In fact, it could get a whole lot messier! Like multiple overflows, traffic jams and accidents on that Autobahn!